Cognitive Therapy
Hey, guys. It's Casie Casem with Change the Face of Depression. And this is my podcast, Take Off the Mask, also known as Totem. Take Off the Mask is a place where no ground is too deep. We have raw interviews with real people making an impact, impacting the world in a better way than the world impacted us.
CasieCasem:Some of this is tough to hear. Listener's discretion is advised. For more episodes and to find out how you can help change the face of depression, check us out at www.change the face of depression.comorctfod.com. We're also on Facebook and Instagram. Hey, guys.
CasieCasem:It's Casie Casem here with change the face of depression. And today, I have Kelsey on this segment of take off the mask. Today, we're gonna talk about depression and self image and a little bit of how our stories correlate, how I met Kelsey, where she is today, where she's come from, and, the trials and tribulations that she's overcome herself. And then she's gonna kind of go into go ahead and go into helping us to get where her strengths are and get some of her strengths and how to be able to maintain a healthy self image and healthy self care. So, hey, Kelsey.
CasieCasem:Thanks so much for hanging out with us today. Ahead of me. Absolutely. So tell us about yourself. How did you how did we meet?
Kelsey:Well, we met, when I stopped by my old stomping ground, if you will. I went to the Aveda Institute, and I was talking to my director telling her how I'm back in school, trying to pursue my passion and further it. And she was telling me about the cause, change the face of depression, and what were they were partnering together to do. And I was like, that's something I can get behind. Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:And she told me, well, let me get you in touch with her. And then we just kinda talked and realized how much we're kinda our stories are kinda similar and just Yeah. Correlate and just kinda, like, kinda, like, kinda just happened
CasieCasem:and clicked. Completely parallel to each other. Just going the same place at the same time. So, Kelsey was actually brought to me as a a direct reference from the director of the Jackson elevator that we're partnering with. When I spoke with Kelsey, she went into her story and how she had suffered from depression, and she went the cognitive therapy route.
CasieCasem:She's going a more holistic approach. I've shared my story on multiple different platforms. I mean, I'm sure if you look for it, you can definitely find it. But my personal struggle with depression, I did the medicine route for several years. That was something that definitely helped to to balance me out on a temporary level, and then I was able to migrate away from that and do a different, approach to maintaining my ability to to retain the self care and just kinda stay on that elevated level of not going back into a depressive state.
CasieCasem:So when I talked to Kelsey, she's going to get her all of her her therapy schoolings, to be more of a cognitive therapist. So personally, how that related to me was when change the face of depression originated, I was going I was doing that cognitive therapy route where I was having and cognitive therapy is like life coaching. Is the ability to go and have a 1 hour conversation with someone that's completely non biased to your life or anything that you're doing in your life. They are just there to help you get to a balanced level and help you be able to retain success basically. In a verbal conversation level.
CasieCasem:That's cognitive therapy. So, taking that is a very holistic route, not not being just not being prescribed any medication and just being able to sit there and have a conversation and have a life build up of a good route and someone from the outside being able to help you get to the level that you're trying to go in a holistic way is what Kelsey is doing. So she wants to take her schooling that she's learned from Aveda and combine that with cognitive therapy, which is exactly the movement that we're also trying to establish with change the face of depression. Cognitive therapy is essentially what I give all credit to saving my life. That accountability of having someone, you know, I had to call every time I took a shower for them to keep me accountable so I can see my personal level of results, on the outside and be able to tell, you know, hey.
CasieCasem:This week, you took 4 showers. That's awesome. And then be able to see myself build and build and build into a healthy outside presentation of myself with my self image and maintain, you know, self care of of my appearance, basically. So that's exactly what Kelsey is doing. That's where she wants to pursue her career in.
CasieCasem:And so she's partnered with change the face of depression to be at the event, to assist in any way that she can, but definitely be able to to share her story with us. And and that's what we're gonna do today too so that you guys can hear it and know that, you know, there's so many of us out there. There's so many different resources. There's so many different ways. You don't have to have, you know, medical, prescriptions to be able to balance your depression or anxiety.
CasieCasem:It's it's all about you and you gaining and taking control of your mental health yourself. That isn't to scratch the fact that maybe you would need to do it to balance. So I'm gonna, you know, back that up a little bit. But on a long term basis, the goal is to do cognitive therapy in a more holistic route. So that's what we're gonna talk about today.
CasieCasem:So, Kelsey, what started you on this route to do cognitive therapy?
Kelsey:Well, what started me was I was working at a salon in the Orange Park Mall here. Mhmm. And this this young girl, she kinda came in. She was kinda just you could tell she was going through something.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:And I saw honestly, I saw a lot of myself in her. Mhmm. So it was kinda like, okay. Well, what can I do to get her talking? Because she wasn't talking.
Kelsey:So throughout her service and me doing her hair, I started telling her about me and what I went through. God could just tell like she just wasn't present. Yeah. And so, I was talking to her even, like, got a little bit of makeup out. Mhmm.
Kelsey:Just put a little bit of something. Because she was a young girl. She was probably about 16.
CasieCasem:Right.
Kelsey:And it just made me realize how much I could help more. Mhmm. And she honestly said to me, at the end of it, she's like, you know, I I think I need help. Wow. She was like, because she's like, hearing what you've gone through and seeing how you are now, how someone is beautiful as you is Yeah.
Kelsey:Was bullied. She was like, it makes me feel like there's another Yeah. World. There's more. And so, honestly, I felt like I partly saved her.
Kelsey:Yeah. Like so I started thinking about, okay, but I haven't seen her in so long. I'm only a hairstylist. I wanna be able to see her through her journey.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:That's what led me to start thinking about, hey, maybe I should become a therapist. Maybe I should do more than just be a hairstylist.
CasieCasem:Absolutely.
Kelsey:So that's kinda what led me into this road of going back to school and getting my therapy license through a way that I will be able to do counseling. Yeah. Because medication will work. I know plenty of people who are on the medication. I'm not saying it's not okay.
CasieCasem:Right.
Kelsey:It's just for me, that didn't work. And for other people, that may not work or may not be enough. Right.
CasieCasem:Because I It's an underlying issue that that like, it it's to me, medication can regulate things like
Kelsey:Chemically balanced. Chemically yeah. Sure.
CasieCasem:Yeah. Absolutely. And, what is that like your sugar?
Kelsey:Glucose? Yeah. Insulin?
CasieCasem:Insulin. Like, medication can regulate insulin levels medical necessities and things like that. But your brain, when it tries to balance depressive versus stable and a plateau effect, you know, it
Kelsey:it doesn't necessarily it And sometimes it's not the only thing. Because I would when I started going therapy when I because I didn't I needed therapy way before I started going. Oh. Yeah. I could've I should have been in therapy when I was a teenager when all this was going on and I was just hiding everything.
Kelsey:Yeah. What I was feeling, I would either eat my feelings or I would try to write.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:So I have I wrote this poem when I was in 8th grade and it still stays the last line still stays with me. I wrote, I am a girl that does not belong in this world because that's literally how I felt but I didn't seek help. I let it just kind of stuffed it down, became this of meek, introvert person and it just the medication wasn't enough. When I started going to therapy, she talked to me about maybe 20 minutes and she prescribed me medication or she would update. That was it what I needed.
Kelsey:It worked. The medication worked. I'm not saying it didn't. It just I need to understand why I'm thinking. That's why I need to understand why I'm having these thoughts because honestly, suicide thoughts still plague me to this day.
CasieCasem:Like,
Kelsey:I've always I would end up in a situation where I'd be like, well, what if what if I just wasn't here anymore? What if I did succeed in my one try when I was 14 years old? What if I really did go through with it? Mhmm. What would life be like?
Kelsey:Mhmm. What would this person be like? Would it even mattered? So I still have these thoughts. Right.
Kelsey:But the the the self harm, the attempting self harm and all that. Going through with it. No. Oh, no. Never gone through with it.
Kelsey:But it's like just that thing where I need to talk to someone. I need to. You gotta get it out. I need to get it out. I need someone to listen to me.
Kelsey:Yeah. And just tell me not necessarily tell me but help me find. Mhmm. Ways to deal with it. Help me find better ways.
Kelsey:So now, I write, I read.
CasieCasem:Mhmm. I write
Kelsey:lyrics to songs that never get heard. Mhmm. But they're for me. Yeah. They're they're that never get heard.
Kelsey:Mhmm. But they're for me. Yeah. They're they help me. So I'm off of the medication.
Kelsey:Mhmm. Because I don't need it at this point in my journey. Mhmm. So it's one of those things where just talking helps. Yeah.
Kelsey:And that's what I wanna be able to do. But for some people, they may look at themselves and say, but there's no change to their outer appearance.
CasieCasem:Right.
Kelsey:So making sure that their outer appearance and their inner thoughts correlate Yeah. And change together will give them a whole new view on themselves and their journey. So being able to maybe do a different hairstyle or just a light touch of makeup. Mhmm. It will change you drastically enough.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:It'll be like a subtle little change to make you say, oh, I am achieving something. Like
CasieCasem:a reset.
Kelsey:It's like a yeah. It's a reset.
CasieCasem:Visual stimulation.
Kelsey:It's like like that. I'm seeing me. I'm my I'm me again. I'm my own person and I'm starting to see who I am. So, as you go through your journey, just changing little things or trying different little things with your hair and your makeup can be life changing.
Kelsey:Yeah. To say the least.
CasieCasem:It's just different outside perspective.
Kelsey:And just having that holistic approach Mhmm. To therapy, it that cognitive holistic approach. It just it affects everything in your being. It affects your mind. It affects your outward appearance.
Kelsey:Mhmm. It can affect everything. Oh yeah. So it really I feel like it's a long lasting. More of a long lasting approach.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:Than just medication or just talking to someone but not changing anything. Yeah. Being able to change something, it still gives you that control power over how you're feeling and what you look like, but in a healthy way.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:In a very much more healthier way than self harming or eating disorders. Oh, yeah. It gives you a positive thing you can control. Yep. So it's, like, changes a lot.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah. Absolutely. What was your what was your teenage years like?
Kelsey:PH years, being a military brat, moving a lot, I was open to other point of views, other ways of thinking. But once I became a teenager Mhmm. Everything just started becoming about what other people thought.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:About me. Started caring more because when I was a young child, I didn't care. If I wanted to wear ruby red slippers to school. Yeah. I would.
Kelsey:Oh, yeah. I sleep in them. I slept in them. I did. Yeah.
Kelsey:Or if I wanted to wear my blue tutu.
CasieCasem:Right.
Kelsey:Out in public. I would if my parents let me.
CasieCasem:I don't like when do we when do we get to that level where you don't dress up every day anymore? You know? You don't wear the princess dresses anymore. You don't wear the crazy frou frou's and the different matching shoes and Mhmm.
Kelsey:It comes from I feel like when you're going through puberty.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:And those hormones are happening and for a woman, you're starting your menstrual cycle. Yeah. And things are changing. You're starting to get fruit more. Yeah.
Kelsey:Endowed in your breast area and starting to grow hair in your legs and image. Altered. Yeah. It starts and then you start to see other people on TV Mhmm. Or your other friends going through the same thing but differently.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:Someone may develop faster Mhmm. In the rest area than you. Seriously, think start thinking, why aren't mine?
CasieCasem:Like Yeah.
Kelsey:So it's like your self image is starting to change and it it's being negatively affected. If you're looking at something at yourself negatively and comparing yourself to other things, you're going to start caring whatever other people think.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:And I did. I cared what other I started caring what other people thought. Not what I thought but what other were seeing me. Yeah. So I started to affect myself in.
Kelsey:It was because people aren't nice.
CasieCasem:No.
Kelsey:No. Teenagers can be very very mean. I still to this day am plugged with it because there are a handful of people that will message me on Facebook bringing up stuff from the past. Because I very much so wanted these guys to like me.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:That I didn't do anything, but I'd let them talk to me however they wanted to talk to me. Yeah. Thinking that they're my friends.
CasieCasem:You're self worth. Yeah. You you I You don't understand the value of self at that point. Like, when you
Kelsey:I put my self image in their hands.
CasieCasem:Yep.
Kelsey:And they can store it, make me feel bad about myself. And there were some girls too. Yeah. There were a lot of times where I would go to the bathroom and just cry. Yeah.
Kelsey:Because I didn't feel like I had anyone on my side. Mhmm. So for me, that amount of negativity. Yeah. Being told to me.
Kelsey:Being told I'm not worthless. Or I'm worthless. And not that I'm not worthless.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:It's started to affect the way I saw myself.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:So, I started thinking and having those thoughts of suicide and what if I wasn't here? What if I just put it into it? But another thing that kept me going is the people who are on my side.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:Like my grandma, my great grandma, and my parents. Even though they didn't know any of this was going on. Yeah. Because I hid it. I hid it all.
Kelsey:Yeah. It kinda just made me pause. I think, well, you're gonna be moving in a year or you're gonna be moving in this amount of months. You're gonna be moving soon.
CasieCasem:This won't last forever.
Kelsey:So having that constant ability to be able to move and get away from it Mhmm. Kinda brought me back to not wanting to kill myself because there's a I'm gonna be moving. This is not gonna be a constant. Even though it did follow me, eventually got less and less and less, and then it became more being talked about behind my back. Yeah.
Kelsey:So I wasn't actually really hearing it by the time I'm a senior in high school but it's still a reality.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:So for me, that caused it fear. What's everyone saying about me? Or what is this person thinking about me?
CasieCasem:Or likability or Or
Kelsey:if you say there. What is he hearing about me? Yeah. Because I like him so much. I wanna ask him out or get or just say something but I'm too afraid because what is he hearing?
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:So kind of I stayed in a shell. Mhmm. I really did. It it I didn't start coming out of my shell till I'm in I'm 23 now.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:I didn't start coming out of my shell till I was 21.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:When I started at the Avianna, it's 2 and started seeing what I could do. Yeah. The impact that you could The impact I could have on a person. Yeah. So for me, being able to help people helped me.
Kelsey:Yeah. So it's not all selfless. Yeah. But being able to help someone feel good about themselves and the way they look started becoming not enough.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:And when I helped that young girl, start I started realizing there's more that I can do. Mhmm. Besides just seeing someone wants some, like, want once. Right. And then maybe in a year, they'll come back for a haircut.
Kelsey:Right. So being able to see someone on a regular basis and see the see them through their journey and help them so that I know that there's another side to everything because there's always the grass is always greener on the other side. Yeah. So there's another there's another side to every coin. Mhmm.
Kelsey:It makes you see that, oh, she got through it. Yeah. So maybe I can.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:And that honestly is what helped me because I started talking Mhmm. To friends. Started talking to the people at my church who are the most loving people. Using your voice. And I'm starting to have an impact on other people even while I'm in school.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:For some for my pastor to come to me starting when I started going to this church, started thinking because I had a patient. I was I used to be a CNA
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:Before I did hair. And I had a patient who said, no matter what I've gone through, he's always been by my side. Mhmm. I started questioning everything all over again because I blamed him. I didn't believe in him.
Kelsey:I thought, why am I gonna believe in a god if he isn't gonna Right.
CasieCasem:He's letting me go through all this. Yeah. Like, he's he doesn't care for me.
Kelsey:He's With that patient, she said, no matter what I've been through, he's always been by my side. Mhmm. And I'm like, why would he put you through so much suffering? She said, if it wasn't for that suffering, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wanted to help so many people.
Kelsey:Yeah. So it started making me think and I started going to this church and I'm just gonna do a little shout out. It's Vibrant Life Church here in Saint in Saint John's County. Mhmm. And it's they love me.
Kelsey:Yeah. They he my pastor even came to me and said, in these last 13, 14 weeks of having being at this church, he's seen so much growth in me.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:So much change in becoming a leader. Mhmm. So it's one of those things where it's like, he's seen the change. Not only is it the therapy, but it's having faith in something. Yeah.
Kelsey:It doesn't have to be god. It doesn't have to be Right. A powerful being that is out there controlling the universe.
CasieCasem:Right.
Kelsey:Just having faith in something helps.
CasieCasem:Something that there is life beyond this point.
Kelsey:Exactly. There's some kind of life.
CasieCasem:Like, I believe a lot with the law of the universe.
Kelsey:You
CasieCasem:know, the law of attraction. Like, the more you attract, the more you're gonna you reap what you sow.
Kelsey:Positivity you you attract, the less negativity affects you.
CasieCasem:Yep. You
Kelsey:reap Yes. Reap what you sow.
CasieCasem:And with that being said, like your patient said, you know, she wouldn't have gone through all of this struggle. She wouldn't be the person that she is today. And you're not able to see that until you step away from the situation, and you look you see Steve Jobs, he had a phenomenal speech at a commencement. I believe it was at Harvard. I made a post about it a while ago, and he said that you are not able to see all of the connections
Kelsey:Mhmm.
CasieCasem:Until you look behind you and you see where all the dots have led. So with that being said, I mean, that's the truth. Like It
Kelsey:really is.
CasieCasem:Everything comes full circle. Everything. No matter how difficult it seems in the time or how much it doesn't make sense at the moment. If it weren't for that particular thing happening exactly the way that it happened when it happened at that timeline in your life, it wouldn't have kind of sculpted and incorporated Exactly. Brought you to where you are today.
Kelsey:Yep. Like It doesn't have like I said, it doesn't have to be God or or the universe. Just having faith is something. Right. Having you
CasieCasem:a purpose. There's a purpose.
Kelsey:Yes.
CasieCasem:That there's a reasoning behind something like
Kelsey:Mhmm. Just Having that faith of Exactly. Having a reason to be alive. Yeah. Having a reason to do what you're doing.
Kelsey:That a little bit of faith Yeah. In having a purpose Yeah. Changes your whole outlook Absolutely. And brings you full circle Absolutely. Like you were saying.
CasieCasem:And I think depression is almost, you know, and I've I've compared it on several other platforms. Depression is like this cloud, like this black ink that just like, you know, it kinda and then then it just expands and it takes over everything. And to be able to have, like, an understanding that there's a reason behind all of this trickle effect, that gives you such a bigger advantage of mental strength to be able to say, like, this is happening for a reason. I don't understand why it's happening right now, but I'm gonna get through this. There is
Kelsey:have faith in that. I'm gonna have faith that this is happening for a reason. Right. Yes. So And for some people, that can be huge.
Kelsey:Mhmm. And for me, it it was.
CasieCasem:For some people, having that faith is not only huge, but it's life altering. Like, that is it's life or death for them at that point. Is that's the only stronghold that they have left too is that
Kelsey:Mhmm. And having people that love you Mhmm. And are not gonna judge you
CasieCasem:Right.
Kelsey:Is another big thing. Yep.
CasieCasem:And we've just Having people
Kelsey:in your
CasieCasem:corner. On different platforms as well is, you know, sometimes you have to break the cycle of toxicity in your life. May it be family members or may it be friends. You'll understand where your tribe is. Like, you have to be able to decipher who's positively behind you and your tribe and who's that one that you've gotta just completely cut off.
CasieCasem:And sometimes that is also life altering. Like, you know, that that can be extremely scary and extremely earth shattering to have to cut some type of relationships out of your life but.
Kelsey:Sometimes it's necessary. Yeah. I had to do that. I had to cut those people I thought were my friends out of my life. And even even though they still try to bring things up.
Kelsey:Yeah. I just started ignoring them. I stopped responding, and I haven't gotten any of the messages anymore because I think they're realizing, oh, she doesn't care anymore. It doesn't affect you. It doesn't affect me.
Kelsey:Even though it does. Right.
CasieCasem:But if you
Kelsey:They don't need to know that.
CasieCasem:Right. Exactly. Don't give in to that. The the wolf that needs to be fed the most is the is the one that's gonna get the strength.
Kelsey:Yeah. Because there's that little I'll I will always have that little voice in my head telling me that I'm not good enough, that they're right. Yeah. But I also haven't my voice is louder now. My voice speaks through the crowd, speaks through that fog.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:And, like, no. You need to stop. Yeah. I am lovable. I love myself, and I look damn good these days.
Kelsey:Just being able to look at myself in the mirror Yeah. And not hate every little thing about me is good. I mean, do I wanna lose some weight? Yeah. But that's not the point.
Kelsey:Right. The point is I wanna look good You have a about myself Yeah. And feel good at every stage Yeah. Of my life. Yeah.
Kelsey:Right now, I'm at a bigger part of it where I'm like, okay. Yeah. I love me. I love the way I look. I rock a I rock a pencil skirt these days.
Kelsey:Yeah. Even though I'll look in the mirror and not feel like I do Yeah. The validation that I hear outside of my own voice Yeah. Helps me.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:Even though I'm not looking for the compliment, just having those compliments be given to me Yeah. Helps my self image. Like, oh, okay. Maybe I do look really good
CasieCasem:Yep.
Kelsey:Today. Maybe doing my makeup this way fits my face. Maybe changing my hair color, which I do a lot. Yeah.
CasieCasem:It's switching up.
Kelsey:Yeah. And just something
CasieCasem:I just
Kelsey:switching it up. It it's another. It's a projection of you. Yeah. It's another reset.
Kelsey:It's a projection of how you feel about yourself. How you want others to see you. Yeah. So, for me, being able to change my appearance and match my mood. And match what I want to feel.
Kelsey:So, like, if I'm having like an off day and I'm feeling kind of low in the dumps which, of course, I'm gonna have. I can try to reset by listening to positive music. Mhmm. Doing my makeup maybe a little bit more of a glamorous way to make me feel better. Mhmm.
Kelsey:It's Change
CasieCasem:the outside. Control. Help the inside.
Kelsey:Chasing. Yep. And it's another thing you can control. Mhmm. And I always like to listen to positive music.
Kelsey:Yeah. Something that's gonna get me going and get me kinda reset. I'm like, okay. Stop feeling stop feeling bad. Right.
Kelsey:I know you're feeling bad about this one little thing. Don't vote out of proportion. Don't overthink it. Stop thinking about it. Mhmm.
Kelsey:You go along with your day. Yeah. So for me, that's a big thing.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah. You have the control to change the outside. Like, no matter what you don't like about yourself, you do have the control to be able to change it.
Kelsey:Which is why I'm going into the cost cost into the holistic
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:Therapy. That's a whole reason because it's something you can control. And it's a positive thing that you can control. Oh, yeah. So it's it can be big for anyone.
CasieCasem:Yeah. And make a huge impact. That's incredible. That's that's where I was 3 years ago. And, you know, wearing makeup in the outside appearance, yes, that's all superficial.
CasieCasem:Absolutely. But in reality, the truth is that when you feel better about yourself on the outside, you feel better about yourself on the inside. Your whole life experience is altered when you are, you know, I heard something once and it was one negative comment will destroy 7 positives. That's how powerful one negative comment is. Like, one negative comment will demolish 7 positives.
CasieCasem:So if you have 7 people come up to you today and they say, Kelsey, you have a great smile. Your hair is on point today. Your eyebrows look fleek. Like, I love those shoes. Your outfit is matched.
CasieCasem:Combination is great. The colors are popping. And I say, Kelsey, I don't like those earrings. That's literally all you're gonna remember is the fact that you heard me tell you that I don't like your earrings. People are Like
Kelsey:The way people remember mistakes Mhmm. Because I think I think it was a professor. He wrote a lot of problems on the board and one was wrong. Everybody paid attention just to that one. Mhmm.
Kelsey:Your brain's gonna do the same thing with negative comments. They're gonna focus on that one negative and not the positive. So if I've had someone come up to me and say, it at the time, I was wearing a ponytail extension because I'm tired of the short hair and I'm trying to grow it but I had someone say to me, you can't be wearing that. I'm like, what? Why?
Kelsey:And she was like, well, you just can't be wearing that. That's not for you. I'm like, and I walked away and that's what I thought about for the rest of the day but then I started thinking, you know, you know what? I can do whatever I want with my hair. I can wear it however I want.
Kelsey:I can add a ponytail extension if I want to. Yeah. You can. It makes me feel good about myself. It makes me look damn fun.
CasieCasem:Right.
Kelsey:When I got that long hair swinging. Yeah. It's about me. Yeah. Not about what that person thought.
Kelsey:Yeah. Even though, like you said, I got so many compliments and then that one, I started obsessing over. Yeah. Because you gotta do that. Your brain's gonna take the negativity and focus on it.
Kelsey:It's not gonna focus on the positive. Yeah. Yeah. So it's one of those things like Because I don't Just get it out.
CasieCasem:I don't know what it I don't I I wish I knew what it was. But you've been convinced yourself that you don't deserve the 7 compliments. Like, you deserve the one Negative.
Kelsey:The brain is still a very mysterious place, especially when it comes to emotions Yeah. And the way we think. Even though there are ways we can decipher Mhmm. The emotions of it, the emotions of how you feel is still so much to be explored.
CasieCasem:Oh, yeah.
Kelsey:So we'll never gonna fully understand why we feel the way we do. Mhmm. We'll just know, oh, this pray this part of your brain lights up on a skin, so you're feeling happy. But that doesn't tell you why. Yeah.
Kelsey:So it's one of those things where you gotta try to stay focused on the positive. Yeah. Repeat those sudden compliments in your head. Yeah. To berate that negative comment and get it out.
Kelsey:Yeah. But everybody struggles with that. Everybody's going to struggle that. Yeah. That whether they have depression or anxiety
CasieCasem:That's just how it's
Kelsey:on the human
CasieCasem:It's it works. Like, whether or not somebody tells you that, you know, they may every now and then have a self image day that they battle, you know, or they have a 5 minute moment where they're just, like, having to overcome. Everybody everybody does. Everybody has those emotions. Yeah.
CasieCasem:It's just how do you learn to filter those? How do you know and and that just goes back to what you're saying about. You you reap what you sow. You have to plant. Yeah.
CasieCasem:It's a complete one eighty. You just plant positive things in your mind to replace all those negative fillers.
Kelsey:Mhmm.
CasieCasem:And then you you crop it, and that's what you you reap what you sow.
Kelsey:That's why I recommend or when I'm talking to friends or clients or anyone and they're telling me, I just feel so down today. Like, I just I just don't feel like doing anything. I'm like, okay. Well, put on some music. Put on something happy.
Kelsey:Yeah. Something that's going to change the way you're thinking because change the mood. So, it could be any type of song. It doesn't have to be country or pop or something like that. It doesn't.
Kelsey:Whatever you likes. It doesn't. It doesn't. It could just be like Musical. Yeah.
Kelsey:Just musical. Like, I know my favorite song to listen to when I'm really feeling down and I feel like nobody loves me is that song from the Greatest Showman, This is Me. Oh, wow. That is my absolute favorite song for when I'm feeling down. Mhmm.
Kelsey:Because it gets me up. It gets me singing along. Honestly, sometimes dancing, you know, I can't dance. Yeah. It gets me out of my head, and I'll start putting songs like that on.
Kelsey:So, like, sounds like Who Says Mhmm. Or Brave or Fight Song or those kind of songs that just say Skyscraper. Yes. I I love that song. And really don't care and sorry, not sorry.
CasieCasem:Yeah. All those songs, I put Empowering songs.
Kelsey:They're very they are. They're empowering. That's right. Instead of It's like we
CasieCasem:were talking about, you know, Halsey has that song bad at love, and I hate that song. Like, when it comes on the radio, I'm like, no. We're gonna change it. It doesn't matter who's in the vehicle with me. That's because that's an idea.
CasieCasem:That negativity. Like, I refuse to be bad at love. I refuse to sit here and say to myself that I'm not good Mhmm. At the greatest gift there is. Like, I'm I'm just I'm not gonna put that on myself.
Kelsey:Especially with the way the brain interprets it. Yeah. It doesn't recognize that it's not your thought.
CasieCasem:Right. It doesn't understand sarcasm
Kelsey:at all.
CasieCasem:It doesn't understand
Kelsey:I mean, some people are very good at sarcasm.
CasieCasem:Right. But even as far you know, my dad started something. We didn't do this growing up. Growing up, I was always, you know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
CasieCasem:I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My dad just recently instilled it, and it's still something that I have to, you know, remind myself and put myself into motion to make it habitual. But because your brain doesn't understand sarcasm and your subconscious doesn't understand, like, references as to what you're speaking about, when you're saying I'm sorry, you're telling yourself You're you're sorry. Like, you're a sorry person or, like, you're just a sorry individual.
CasieCasem:Instead, you replace it with, I apologize. Like, I apologize. That not only sounds better, but your brain understands that you're apologizing as opposed to, you know, punching yourself in the face. Right.
Kelsey:That makes a lot of sense because I would do the same thing. Mhmm. All all through growing up, I would just say, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Kelsey:I'm sorry.
CasieCasem:I'm sorry.
Kelsey:I'm sorry. And then a couple years ago, my grandma was like, stop saying sorry. Right. Stop. Right.
Kelsey:What? You have nothing to be sorry for. So you didn't put your person in your room. Mhmm. Don't say, oh, I'm sorry.
Kelsey:Yeah. Just like, oh, okay.
CasieCasem:Let me do it now. You're trying to make an excuse for your existence sometimes because you just feel like, you know, it's that it's that self worth. Yeah. And once you realize your self worth, there's so many different things that you're gonna want to rotate. There's so many different things that you're gonna want to reset.
CasieCasem:Like, how can I grow more? How can I implant more positivity? What are some of the things other than, you know, we we discussed church, we discussed eating better, we listening to different music. Is there any other things that you would recommend doing to just enhance and continue that?
Kelsey:Find something that you love as positive and do it. So, if you love to read, find positive to read. It doesn't have to be a self help book. It can be fiction. It can be something that just makes you feel good.
Kelsey:Like I read a lot of books that are romance. Because honestly, I have a lack of romance in my life. I don't have a boyfriend.
CasieCasem:Yeah.
Kelsey:But for me right now, in this space, I'm like, I don't really need it.
CasieCasem:Right. I just love because it's a fun story. You know?
Kelsey:Yeah. They're fun stories. They're positive, especially if they end in a happy ending. Oh, yeah. It makes you happy for the character, which will make you happy.
Kelsey:Yeah. So reading stuff that you love
CasieCasem:to read Is mentally stimulating Yes. In a positive way.
Kelsey:Yes. And it is. And another thing, if you have a lot of like, I also have ADD.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:So for me, my brain will start thinking a mile a minute. Yeah. Whether it's positive or negative, just keeps going and on and on. And I'll think of story ideas. That's another thing that always is plaguing my brain is song ideas, poems, and stories, short stories, novels.
Kelsey:Just write. Mhmm. Just stimulate yourself. Just write. If you have all these thoughts, like It's a creative outlet.
Kelsey:Yes.
CasieCasem:You've gotta establish a creative outlet.
Kelsey:And they're very positive outlets.
CasieCasem:That's a it's it's absolutely impossible to be depressed and grateful at the same time. Like, it's absolutely impossible.
Kelsey:It's impossible impossible to feel sad when you're doing something you love. You're happy. You're passionate about it.
CasieCasem:It is impossible to experience those two emotions. And that's why, you know, it's funny when people say laughter through tears. You know? It's when you have that sad emotion and then immediately after it, something happens and it brings you back down and you're like, oh, you know, But you don't experience those 2 emotions at the exact same time.
Kelsey:Right beside each other.
CasieCasem:They're yeah. Simultaneously. But if you're happy, you cannot be sad. It's impossible to experience both at the same time. So when you feel that emotion coming about, it's so incredible to have that redirection of a creative outlet.
Kelsey:Yeah. And it could be reading. It could be writing, singing, cooking, baking. Yeah. Something that
CasieCasem:you enjoy doing that you can Part of the thing. Yep. Anything that you can go out and have control over and know that that is a positive outlet
Kelsey:for me. An artist too.
CasieCasem:Yeah. That's that's so important.
Kelsey:So It really is. Yeah.
CasieCasem:Well, thank you so much for hanging out with us today. No. That's it.
Kelsey:Do you
CasieCasem:have anything else maybe you wanna share? Anything like that?
Kelsey:No. Not really. I just feel like just being able to control something that's positive to a positive outlet is gonna help. Oh, yeah. So do you have any more questions for me?
CasieCasem:No. I'm just excited to see you at the convention. Yeah. I think she's gonna be so Kelsey's gonna be at the event helping well, any honestly, any way that she can, but she's gonna be available to do makeup. She'll be assisting with hair if need be.
CasieCasem:She would love to talk to you and kinda share her story if you guys have any questions, or wanna get to know her better on a personal level or see what type of, you know, timeline she's looking at to be able to make the cognitive therapy portion that career, like, when she'll be able to to do things like that and just get to know you.
Kelsey:Yeah. And
CasieCasem:say thanks for for watching. So
Kelsey:And if you just wanna come come and talk to me while you're waiting and just ask me for advice, I'd love to give you some advice. Even though it's still early in my schooling, there's from my own personal experience, there's so much advice I have to give.
CasieCasem:And just to have a resource for you and make a new friend. You know, we we discussed this is gonna be event to be able to come and and meet people and make new friends and have new resources and here you go right here. And then having someone
Kelsey:you can talk to just kinda helps.
CasieCasem:Mhmm.
Kelsey:Someone who understands. Someone who's not gonna judge. It just helps get you back get you back to somewhere Absolutely. Resetting.
CasieCasem:Yeah. And so, you know, during the take off the mask segment, like, the point is to be able to show everybody has a common point. Like, we are all struggling on this life bus. Like, every single one of us has something that we struggle with and it's to individualize different types of struggles and then kinda discuss, alright, yeah. Well, I did go through that.
CasieCasem:Like, here's how I survived that or here's how I bettered myself Mhmm. By giving personal stories like this and be able to have that vulnerability and that transparency to discuss their personal stories. So, you know, absolutely, please feel free to know that Yes.
Kelsey:This is
CasieCasem:an open platform at all times, and we wanna make sure that you guys are welcome, and we see you at the event. And Mhmm. Come talk to us. Come say hi. So this is Kelsey's story.
CasieCasem:Thank you, guys. Thank you,
Kelsey:Kelsey. So much. Yeah.
CasieCasem:We'll be seeing you at the event. Yep.
Kelsey:You'll I'll definitely be there. Bye.
CasieCasem:Until then. Bye, guys.
